2/15/2020 0 Comments A Laugh From the PastElizabeth here - is it just me, or are we in the doldrums of the year? We've all been sick for weeks in my house, and the infections just keep on coming! We've had strep, we've had staph, we've had ear infections, sinus infections - will it never end? Since I've hardly left the house, it's been hard to prepare a proper post, so I decided to just share a bit of a laugh. Chances are we could all use it right about now. Original post here: http://www.ejswriting.com/famiglia/foods-to-eat-on-your-child FOODS TO EAT ON YOUR CHILD
written, with not even a tiny shred of seriousness, by Elizabeth Bouinatchova Let’s face a common New Mom problem - getting yourself fed. You know that fat little milk-leech is going to be stuck to your front for many months. You pretty much have to learn to eat above, on, or around him or her. Here are a few food reviews you might find helpful. Burger, Fries, Coke Safety Rating: Good This one’s a pretty safe bet. The kid might get a light dusting of salt. But even slippery pickles can be plucked right off a fuzzy little baby head, no harm done. You can even use the secret sauce to give him a junior fauxhawk. Be careful with the coke, though. Rumor has it that spilling coke on a baby will cause worms to come out. Chocolate Safety Rating: Excellent It's not corrosive, it's not abrasive...the only problem with this one is that when little bits fall off and melt on baby’s hot little body - or yours - you’ll earn yourself a round of everybody’s favorite game, “Poop or Chocolate?” Honestly, that’s is NOT a game you want to lose. Pizza Safety Rating: HAZARDOUS Two words: Molten. Cheese. Do you really want to have to explain to your darling child, for the rest of his life, why he was an awkward splatter-shaped scar? Maybe you could try to convince him you gave birth inside an active volcano. Good luck with that. Steak Safety Rating: HAZARDOUS Two words: Steak. Knives. Steak knives and babies just don't mix. You could always eat it caveman-style, dripping droplets of blood and fat on your baby's head. But you will probably create a serial killer. Or a chef. Or both. Salad Safety Rating: Good There's not really too much that can go wrong here. Stick to oil and vinegar dressing. You're supposed to oil babies anyway, right? And all the health-foodies will tell you that vinegar is wonderful as a health and beauty product. Do be careful handling an oiled & vinegared baby afterwards though; little suckers get slippery.
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Welcome to our little blog on Family & Special Needs concerns!
Silver Park Arts is Kid-Friendly, Spectrum-Experienced, and thrilled to welcome families, children, and people with special needs. While not yet fully ADA accessible, we give you our promise to provide whatever support possible in our physical space, and also here, online, in the realm of sharing and thought. Elizabeth Bouinatchova, our founder, is a writer and mom of two special needs children. She is passionate about supporting the differently abled, and will use this blog to share her experiences, thoughts, and resources. Archives
March 2020
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